You and Me, unconsciously

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I always think about us like this.
You and me, in love and free
You and me, on the same ride
You and me, our hearts collide

I even had a dream
Again it’s about you and me
You so close to me proprioceptively
Exactly, what I would always want us to be
Your image and gestures were clear on my mind
Though we are in the center of the passing stangers street
All I know , on that moment, it’s just US.

I can still feel it. I will never forget it. The way you held me into your arms and tell me you love me as deeply express it into your eyes, and the way you make me feel I’m the One was the most beautiful part.

But now..

I’m in an ill heartbroken state . Yes I do, I believe. It was indeed a very beautiful dream. Yet it was just a dream.

You and Me ,unconsciously

image

I always think about us like this.
You and me, in love and free
You and me, on the same ride
You and me, our hearts collide

I even had a dream
Again it’s about you and me
You so close to me proprioceptively
Exactly, what I would always want us to be
Your image and gestures were clear on my mind
Though we are in the center of the passing stangers street
All I know , on that moment, it’s just US.

I can still feel it. I will never forget it. The way you held me into your arms and tell me you love me as deeply express it into your eyes, and the way you make me feel I’m the One was the most beautiful part.

But now..

I’m in an ill heartbroken state . Yes I do, I believe. It was indeed a very beautiful dream. Yet it was just a dream.

Letter to Mr. James P.

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Dear James P.
         Hi my recent friend. It was only half kilometers since we had a walk together. But now, we’re more than one and a half kilometer apart. And I am thinking of you. I know I’ve been too judging on your identity. Yes, I admit I am selfish of not looking even a glimpse to the validity of your short comings. I have been busy catching every details of my demands without caring at yours.
        So here I am again. Trying seek help from a diplomatic form of literature for the feelings I want to express to you. I am blaming myself now because I wasted a good friendship before it even begins. I know you posses jades and emeralds engraved attitude on your persona that some people are so lucky and priviledged to have you. But unfortunately I am not one of them because for now I can’t even handle myself properly. Unlike you, neither I can even find that jewel in me. This is what I am brave at; after showing my flaws  and walk away, yet having the expectations for the hopeless chance that you will still choose to stay in my uncertain heaven or hell territory.
         I apologize for not treating you kind, for not listenning to your point of view. But now let me tell you first, obviously, I am not mad at you anymore. I somehow want you to remember me as someone in your life who is willing to stay away to avoid myself from hurting you. Yes I am letting go of the thought and hope that you will have me back to your life. Still, I’m not giving up on praying that you will find someone out there worth sharing your time. I won’t stop hoping that someday you’ll understand why things have to be this way. Someday you will learn to appreciate every situation and just insist your mind positively that everything happens for a reason and from that you forgive as you accept and move forward. One day you’ll realize what is happening is according plans . And following a reminder ; “God’s perfect timing” .
Maybe it’s not yet time for us. ; And Who knows what’s ahead for Us tomorow.

When you learn to patiently live and love in this way, I will be the most happiest person to see you smile at your best. 🙂
  I only want you to be happy. until this very end of my letter.

              Your recent hopeful friend,
              Yours sincerely,   LA.

La Douleur Exquise

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First pages…

I am his edge pusher, emotionally. I am the one who will either kill him or save him.  
Kill him by staying on his side.  Or save him by leaving.    

We are both broken glasses  
From our none “handle with care” owners.  
Hopeless, heartbroken, we have nothing.  
Being left with that lonely thing, That people we hold on to won’t be back forever.  

I came to his lonely life like a wrecking ball  
I just wanted to destroy his huge unbreakable wall  
But what I had from him was a firm rejection  
He said “Go away, I don’t want to be your rebound.”
But hard and heart headed, I refused. I insist. I stayed.  

He gave me another chance.
We have compromise never to fall in love.
We exchange thoughts, sweet dusty talks.
I resist not fall, I tried.
But he is not an ordinary man to throw away.
For me he is someone incredible a woman can’t say no.      

I want him, desperately.  
I want to wipe his tears.
I want to keep him in my arms.  
I want to love him more than anything and anyone else.  
I even vow to myself that no one will hurt again him if he was mine.    
I always dreamed of him as my man.  
I always fantasize that we have each other.  
Deep inside, I have no doubts that what I feel for him is real,  
That I don’t care what others will say just to have him.  
For me, one thing would be clear: I’m into him.  
 

Until One night, everything has changed.  

The Long and Winding Road to M.D.

rachelleramilo.com

I’d lie if I tell you that not once during med school have I thought of why I am here, or questioned myself if I made the right decision. Because I did, more than once, to be honest. Despite these few moments of doubt, I always seem to get back on track and continue with what I have started. But, looking back to my old self eight years ago, I wish someone had told me what it really takes for one to get that “MD” on his name.

I am done with the second month (out of twelve) of clerkship aka 4th year med school aka “being at the bottom of the food chain.” But before I tell you how I feel as a clinical clerk, you may want to be enlightened how I got here. So here it goes…

THE PREPARATION BEFORE MED SCHOOL

1. Finish a pre-med course.

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Reflecting Life’s POV to Physics

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P = W/t  
Looks familiar right? Well. I am neither a professor nor a student majoring Physics. But sometimes in order to get things done surviving these life paralyzing circumstances we need to analyze more in a strange but synchronizing point of view. From that, either the idea would be an eye opener or we will just laugh at it and don’t mind even if it strikes our sleeping consciousness.

 What you will learn from this maybe will make you think twice on your outlooks. And I hope this would help you become definite to your own life perspectives.

Now, let us re-state this formula into words.
 
 Power results from Work over Time.

I bet that’s more understandable.  In life, in order to achieve something great, it demands TIME and WORK. Yes. And the product of that is POWER. Here, let’s define POWER as a capability of a person to attain something he/she strongly wants to have in his or her life, or someone the person wants to be. Going back, we work simultaneously with Time. It requires time to finish work.

So what consist of work to be done over time? At this point, I made my own simple formula of work.

Work = F1 + F2 + P1 + P2 + D

Where in, F1 stands for FAITH.  For deeper meaning, this means believe in God. Pray hard. Surrender yourself to God’s plans and everything will fall into place. Have Faith in God as well as to yourself.  
F2 for FEARLESS  Be brave to face the odds. You should be Fearless to make change and flexibility to the hindrances that may happen on your way.  
P1 is to PATIENCE  Just remember this phrase: “In God’s perfect Timing “  And if you’re that impatient, try imagining you are eating that sour mango, unripe. Take note it takes time for a fruit to ripen to its sweetest.  
P2 is to PASSION  Be enthusiastic towards what you want to be. Have that Passion for what you love and what makes you HAPPY. Have the reason why you hold on in the first place.
And  lastly,  D for DETERMINATION  Be firm to your purpose. This quality of yours should not be affected by problems that may come along the way while you wait.

These are just some characters which help us reaching our goals in life. If you consistently apply these to everyday thoughts, life won’t be that complicated. Things would be lighter.   

But before I forget, you should add these components with a + sign. These traits should always jive with Positive thinking. I’m not saying being positive is to expect for the best. And to be honest, I did not end up figuring out the real meaning of being positive, I only got it from reading quotes . This is what it sounds like:  “Being positive is to accept what could go wrong and in spite of that you are still hopeful.”

Again, let’s apply some Physics thing on this. Try to look on Archimedes principle as it pertains to buoyant force. It explains that any object immersed in a fluid is pushed upward. The upward force is called buoyant force. Then imagine that moment when you feel like the world is on your case pushing you down. If you think of it, you would realize that Positivity is another way of lifting yourself up. So it’s You, yourself is the Buoyant force of your own. You are the one who will lift yourself up. Nobody, nobody but YOU.    

You see? If you have that power to go for your goals, then the success and happiness is truly yours. Strong power is not just work but hard work, not just time but enough time. We work hard for the things we severely want. We work hard to attain the best future that is waiting for us. As you go along, handle consequences with a + sign and you’ll have positive outcomes.

At the end of the day, there are still so many things to be thankful. So be thankful and contented of what you have rather than chasing over things that are not meant for you because Time is too long to wait for great things to happen but also too short to waste on stress and negative things

I just want view life slightly in a different way. I really appreciate your time reading this and I hope you did enjoy thinking and being inspired with me. And if that’s the case, I am so grateful to know that somehow I have enlightened and persuaded you in a more fun and optimistic way of life.